Flip your outlook to help you feel less stressed and more able to manage your health, energy and overall outlook on life
I don’t know about you, I love to work, I love my job, I love helping you and championing those I work with.
But it can be a problem, because I can stressed when I don’t fill all my time with doing 'something' connected to work
As though I should be filling the time with as much of it (work) as possible. As a coach and having experienced burnout a number of times, I also know this is not a sustainable approach.
Often it is a dance on the line, getting close to the edge to know where it is, especially at the minute with navigating parenting too.
I know that often the challenges clients face are ones I’ve also experienced or are experiencing in the background at the same time, even if I don't mention it: Ultimately coaching sessions are about you and your needs, mine don't come into it. Rarely do my experiences either, they're there if they can help but coaching ethos believes you know more than anyone about what you need to do to improve your life - as a coach I help facilitate these discoveries with you, a truly powerful and empowering combination.
Of course, I can bring in the tools after coaching sessions that I have from my background as an Actor, PT, Nutrition Coach and Yoga Teacher, but then we start to play with mentorship and more strategy, something that can absolutely be incredibly beneficial in support of your goals and that is really unique to what I do here at Club Thrive.
Aside from the skills I do have, there are many human traits I am not so good at.
I struggle immensely with following plans, or so I have told myself, something I’m personally unpacking at the minute! When we tell ourselves these things they can become our life, our belief system
Time blocking just does not work for me, my brain goes all over the place and with a schedule at home that changes weekly I find it stressful to do - but then it inevitably ends up with overwhelm or starting 30 tasks in one day
Being busy rather than productive is something I’ve struggled with a lot over the years too. In the past, unless I was exhausted, it never felt like I was doing enough. Part of that from the constant whirring like a motor in the background and others from my incessant need to prove my worth. Developing my own self trust, esteem and belief in my self has helped enormously with balancing hard work with play and rest too.
I have gotten a lot better with rest to be fair, thank goodness. Spent a whole hour in the bath on Friday night, which was bliss - watching Crazy Rich Agents: Selling Dream Homes. A girl’s gotta dream!
I have a terrible focus unless I’m in the zone, and when I'm "there" good luck trying to get through to me. I find it frustratingly annoying when this state is interrupted as it takes me so long to create a focus in the first place! One day I dream of an office that I can shut myself off from the world in, that isn't also our bedroom.
We are living in the age of lifestyle porn right now. I'm still an exceptional coach regardless of where my desk lives: Don't let your belief in your abilities be knocked by how many bedrooms your home has. Doesn't mean you can't want more, just means you're more likely to reach your goals if you don't judge your potential based on what your world currently looks like. Letting go of perfection helps you to design and appreciate the home and life you have right now to best support you in reaching your long term ambitions
This I then balance with the guilt of hearing my 18 month old daughter knocking on the door of our bedroom trying to get in whilst she's with her Dad and I'm trying to finish off my weekly e-mail before we pass the parenting baton on.
We choose to parent like this. Childcare is expensive and right now we are able to balance parenting between us - it means she gets to spend more time with us, which with advanced hindsight is a privilege. Even if at times this approach is exhausting! The focus and endless striving leaves me tied up in knots.
As soon as I let it go a bit, ahhhhhh so much more space to look in different directions, to discover different doors and avenues
Jokes aside, it’s why I’ve started trying to create sections with my attention, so that if I’m parenting I can try and solely focus on Sienna. I still find it hard, to not naturally drift towards career and the goals I have for our life. Multi tasking a natural place to be, whilst also knowing it just creates endless circles of unfinished tasks.
As a coach, if I was exploring this with you, we’d draw attention to how your way of living with trying to control everything feels for you right now.
What is this way of living taking/draining away from you? How do you feel in yourself? What does your lifestyle look like? What voices are coming into your mind?
Then we’d look at how you’d rather live
How/what you’d rather feel
What voices you’d rather be hearing inside
What you’d like your life to look like
Eg From
“I’m stressed, everything is tight, scrunched, in a box, wired, I can’t see the wood for the trees, messy, lots of thoughts in my mind about work/money (limiting beliefs/fears). Don’t think I’m a good parent or a business owner, trying to do too much” etc\
To
“I’d like to feel calmer, light, more energised, less frowny, less fearful more time for fun things. I trust myself, I can enjoy time without rushing, there is family time, I don’t stress eat, I go to bed at a reasonable time and I have clarity on what I need to do next”
Generally in these moments in a coaching session there are some laughs and a shift of energy, a release or sense of letting go
The realisation in trying to grab the goal we are squeezing the life out of it
When we try so hard to force an outcome or to be busy it often is because these actions are linked to other beliefs. What if we flip them on their head to create new, more helpful beliefs?
“I must work hard to deserve the money/status/success I crave”
Becomes,
“Working with ease, passion, patience and fun brings an ever ending stream of possibility”
or
“Work has to feel hard otherwise I’m not doing enough”
Becomes
“By enjoying my life I am better at my job”
Same for workouts and health kicks
“I have to be sweaty, in pain and exhausted for it to be worth it”
Becomes
“I love moving my body in a way that keeps me energised, passionate and ready for my day, every day”
Etc :-)
It’s amazing how flipping on its head an intense, heavy thought, giving it some space, letting it go a bit can have such a positive impact
When you care, are driven and passionate about how people perceive you, it is natural to go in, heart, soul, everything on the line.
I recently realised it is my bursting myself more and not trying to control outcomes, that I have gotten closer in many ways to what I let go of
In rebranding from Stirling Fit, I now feel more inclined to talk more about fitness and nutrition again - with passion rather than feeling like I have to
I left my acting agent last year for a fresh start. In joining a new agency with a different focus and deciding to have fun, play and go all in I’ve never booked more self tapes, pencils and jobs.
As a parent, creative and business owner when I try too hard to do everything at once I inevitably feel like I'm failing at achieving anything. When I focus on each role at a time and focus on the needs rather than always thinking about the end result I am able to be far more present and light hearted
I highly recommend Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit Of Less by Greg McKeown if you struggle with single tasking, it's definitely an entrepreneurs curse that one!
In general we are all much better at everything when we release our frowns, soften our shoulders, breathe a bit deeper, let go of the critic on our shoulder and laugh at how ridiculous life can be sometimes
What can you flip the script on or let go of a little bit to bring that light and potential back into your future?
Have an amazing week, drop any questions below and I'll do my best to help!
Kate x